# 9. 2017 Dev. Mt. 5: 31-32. Marriage, Divorce, Recovery. The purpose of these devotionals is to draw closer to God by memorizing selected passages of Scripture. Further, to view the passage in context and grow spiritually by applying His Word to our daily living with family, friends and others. All passages are taken from the NIV.
Matthew 5: 31-32. “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus here is correcting the perception of that day that divorce is only a matter of giving a certificate by the husband to the wife. Jesus, speaking about divorce later explains this precept. This is the occasion: Mt 19 “When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“After saying these Things”: Take note that this discussion on divorce follows Jesus’ discussion with Peter about the number of times for forgiveness. “70 times 7” Jesus tells him and Peter’s question precipitated “The parable of the unmerciful servant” (Mt. 18: 21-35).
Jesus gives the Pharisees this answer: 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[ 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
This is an amazing answer, particularly the last part in response to the disciples’ comment: “it is better not to marry”. It is obvious from Jesus’ answer that relations with the opposite sex and marriage is a matter of choice. Sex and marriage is a gift not a right.
What are the implications for divorce? Divorce is allowed if there is sexual immorality but it is not mandatory if there can be reconciliation which is preferred. The next question is what constitutes immorality? Adultery for sure but there is also emotional adultery, emotional and physical abuse, child abuse, porn, explicit literature, and as we have already read, immoral thoughts about men and women. I think all the above are included in immorality.
Marriage is not a contract where there is a reciprocal relationship that can be easily broken. Marriage is a vow. Couples should vow to be committed one to the other even if love is not always reciprocated. Love is like the love of Christ, He loves us regardless of our response. He loves us and nothing we can do will make Him love us more or love us less! That is the basis for love in marriage. However, if one does think about divorce every effort must be made to reconcile by being honest with each other, then by agreeing to counseling by Christian counselors or by someone you respect, a pastor, an elder or a couple you know. The above will work if both partners want to save the marriage. If one party files for divorce over the other party’s objection and every realistic compromise has been extended to the spouse filing, not much can be done by way of reconciliation.
Paul writes (I Cor. 7) about an issue current today: He agrees with Jesus but he also writes about unbelieving spouses. “10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife”.
12 “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy”.15 “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace”.
The bottom line is that God knows our thoughts, our motivations and every situation in which we find ourselves. Further, “God has called us to live in peace”! On the basis that God loves and takes care of His people, God in Jesus is merciful, forgives, and extends grace to those who belong to Him in order to cope with and recover from the pain of divorce. Thank you Jesus!
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