Christian Marriages

Along with Pastor Jolly and Elizabeth, Gremar and I were asked to participate in a Christian Marriage Seminar for the students and their wives at the Warari Bible School.  Many of these couple were married by a traditional religious ceremony. Under that system marriages are not as permanent as what we understand as Christian marriages.  Traditionally extended families have much to say about a couple’s relationship. The wife leaves her husband if told to do so. A husband may send his wife away for several reasons, particularly if there are no children or if only daughters are born. In many ways traditional marriage is much like marriage in the  Old Testament including multiple wives. When couples turn to Christianity there is a radical change in relationships with family and with each other. The image of God in mankind dictates that men and women are of equal value because God created man in his image, male and female he created them (Gen. 1:27).

Secondly, God ordains marriage as an exclusive monogamous  relationship. Extended family is excluded and man cleaves to his wife as she cleaves to her husband. They become one flesh: in body, in mind, in action, and in each other’s existence. (Gen 2: 23). Paul quotes this very text  in Ephesians 5: 21-33. Our TLT classes struggled with this very passage coming to grips with how to be good husbands and good wives as a way to prevent violence in the family. To be submissive to each other is to be submissive to Jesus. We keep our wives and husbands pure and our families pure by keeping ourselves pure.  This  is a profound mystery as Paul says in ( v. 32) the commitment that Christ the groom has for his bride the church is the example and the basis for the commitment a man and a woman have for each other in every aspect of their relationship.

Thirdly, we can’t talk about marriage without including ( I Cor. 7:1-7) this passage raised a lot of questions. The answer is that each couple need to sort out their intimate relationship. Men need to be gentle and patience with their wives, always telling them how much he loves her and tell her that she is beautiful.  One more important item to know is that sex starts in the kitchen or wherever the husband is willing to help his wife domestically.

Jolly spent a lot of time on comparing traditional African marriages with Christian marriages.

Gremar  spoke on the importance of leading the children by example and caring for them as Christ cares for us in as far as families are able.  Give the kids adequate food (which is not always the case even if food is available) and provide adequate medical care (often girl children are given less care) and adequate education for both boys and girls.

Over all it was a great day for all of us highlighted by the Christian wedding ceremonies the next day, Sunday. The whole thing was an amazing experience.